Why It's My World!
So many of my readers and fans ask me, “Derek, what makes you the authority on music, and why does your opinion have to supersede everyone else’s’?” I answer this question in the best possible fashion, “Because I am music!” I do not think anyone can understand exactly what I mean in that statement, however there is good news, I can explain it. I once heard a story when Beethoven in his beginning was learning to play piano, overheard his sister playing a normal C major scale. If you do not know what a scale is, it is an arrangement of whole and half steps consisting of 7 notes. The last note to complete the scale is called the diatonic note. This 7th and final note. This note I believe to be the most important, gives closure, a sense of completeness to resonating sounds in your mind. To play a C Major Diatonic scale missing the last note is comparatively horrible as reading a story with no ending. Beethoven’s sister was called to dinner whilst playing the C scale and did not complete that last important diatonic note. This drove Beethoven insane and he burst into the practice room and banged out that final C note. I have done this myself. While I do not even remotely compare myself to Beethoven, I do know we shared a special gift, loving melody more than life its self. To live in a world without music, would be a world I would not want to remain in. I am not the only one that feels this away about music, however I do know I will never have the career that once dreamed of. I can honestly say they were my misfortunes and bad choices that held me back. I know I am young and time is still my friend, however I have come to terms life will not grant me this dream.
I was sad for a very long time as I had lost my dream. I believe with all my heart dreams are the only motivation for human life. Without a dream you merely exist. I lived in self pity. Life did not grant me my dream nor did I work hard enough for it, so therefore life didn’t matter anymore. I gave up on life and my dream and meandered around in limbo for many of years scorching everything that tried to touch me. I was mean, bitter and I hated the world. I did not like who I was, and I hated myself. In my self pity I even tried to forget music as the sounds of melancholy somehow only were just a reinforcing reminder of my failures. Their tones were whispers in my ears reminding me of my lost dream forged from yesteryears. I don’t know what happened to me or what changed, but I realized there are other dreams if you search your soul for them. I love music. I have collected, listened, and sung to a catalog of songs that would take one a lifetime to span. I am not bragging however it is my passion, it is my gift. I can honestly tell you the first time I ever fell in love with music. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was about 11-12 years old when I fell in love. I was watching HBO one day and the movie Welcome Home Roxie Carmichael came on. Near the end of the movie an elderly lady sang a rendition of Frank Sinatra’s “My Way.” The lyrics were changed to her way. This lyric change was to be the sole antagonist in my journey to seek this song. I was young and didn’t know much about music or lyrics, I did not even know the title of the song. I tried to hum it, and sing it for my grandfather, to no avail. I even tried to record it on my Playtex plastic microphone toy which was to no avail as well. I was quite sad and this bothered me as I had an internal desperate longing for this song. I needed to hear it again. The song's haunting melody touched every aspect of my soul. If I did not find this song I was sure to perish, it meant that much to me. One day, I was humming this to my mother and she quickly shouted, “That’s Frank Sinatra’s “My Way.” Ye Gods, I was saved! I immediately sequestered my grandfather to purchase my very 1st CD,Frank Sinatra’s Greatest Hits Part 2 which contained “My Way”. I must have listened to that CD well over 1 billion times. I wore every layer of music off its plastic coating. I then rushed out and purchased Frank Sinatra’s Greatest Hits Part 1. The quest for music and my passion was born. I look back and can see every moment perfectly clear on the day I feel in love with music. Others can look back and reminisce to a moment when they first fell in love with a person. My first love was with “My Way.” I listened to Frank Sinatra sing for countless hours. His message and his melodic stories of love and life. He taught me to sing. I hold this treasure very close to me as nothing can take this way from me. Only warm memories come from that type of love, there is no pain in love for music. I will take these moments with me to my last and dying breath.
So now years and eons later, I own every Frank Sinatra song ever recorded and about another 10,000 others. I won’t even share with you the day I lost my entire catalog of music in a hard drive crash. Literally, I cried for days. Rest assured my friends, I back up EVERYTHING to this day! My most recent quest for a song I think you will laugh about. I spent literally 7 years looking for this song! I am not lying nor am I overestimating the time. I remember taking my little sister to Arby’s Restaurants and on the Musak over head, I heard a beautiful song. All I caught were a few of the lyrics..”And if I found out differently, then I wouldn’t fall in love.” That’s all I heard, and all I remembered. I searched, sang, called radio stations, Googled you name it, I could never find it. I said to myself, I must find this song before I die. The song was titled “Fool That I Am” by Rita Coolidge. Out of the blue one day I tried every arrangement possible to form the lyrics I knew on Google. I cannot tell you I wasted days in my life for this song. I found it, finally! You should have seen my tears of joy, finally I could rest. Again, I played this song on IPod till it blew up!
Now I go back to my question, “Why do I have the right to say it’s my world?” I hope that in reading above you can understand. I am glad that I am able to share in words how I feel. I know I am not alone nor am I special. What I do know is this is my life, and this is my new dream to bring music to your life. I would love to have you all along on my journeys. When you find yourself lost in a moment from the past in a song, you will find me there…as that is where my heart will always remain. This is my world, and you are my dreams, and I thank you, for allowing me to be part of your life.
That’s all I Der say on that, and that's...
The World As I Der See It!